October 1, 2020

Home—Castle or Hassle?

 

The Garden of Eden was the first home ever, designed and gifted to us by our Creator. It was perfect! God gave Adam and Eve only one rule: “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.”—Genesis 2: 16-17 (HCSB)

Their home was perfect . . . until . . .

The Deceiver entered the scene and asked Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You can’t eat from any tree in the garden?’”—Genesis 3:1 (NIV)

Eve repeated what God had told them.

Satan replied, “You will not certainly die. . . . For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”—Genesis 3:4-6 (NIV)

Now Eve was convinced there was no way God would kill her off. After all, why wouldn’t God want her to know about good and evil? So, she gave the forbidden fruit to Adam to join in. This changed their relationship with each other, i.e. God told Eve her desire would be for her husband who would rule over her. It also changed their relationship with God.

Not only that, they had to vacate their perfect home. Their castle had become a hassle.

God wants to bless us in our homes. He desires harmony and peace in our relationships with our spouse and children. For the most part, harmony and peace make for a hassle-free environment. One thing more than any other that disrupts this is the tongue.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”—Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)

We can use words, spoken or written, to:

  • Hurt …………..or………….Heal
  • Put Down…….or………….Lift Up
  • Discourage…..or………….Encourage
  • Punish…………or………….Forgive
  • Complain……..or………….Compliment
  • Destroy………..or………….Build Up
  • Find Fault…….or………….Find the Positive

We don’t know what words Eve used to talk Adam into disobeying God, but they must have been very convincing. If only she had . . .

I find myself saying the same thing . . . if only . . . If only I hadn’t said that to my husband, I could have spared him hurt or prevented an argument.

In fact, often right before words come out of my mouth, I sense a nudge to not say them. Some might say it is my conscience speaking to me. I believe it is the Holy Spirit convicting me to do the right thing—that which will protect peace and harbor harmony. Do I always listen and do the right thing? Nope. Do I reap what I sow? Yep. If only I would utter words that encourage, lift up, forgive . . . . Or, if I keep quiet, I will not only experience peace around me, but internally as well.

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”—Romans 14:19 (NIV) In other words, kind words, forgiving words benefit both the speaker and hearer.

Should I never speak my mind? Never take a stand? No! God tells us “There is a time . . . to be silent and a time to speak,”—Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NIV)

If I carefully weigh my words and use them to work toward understanding and coming to agreement when at all possible, my home will have more of a chance of being a castle than a hassle.

That said, Romans 12:18 leads me to believe not everyone will be reasonable, forgiving, or respond well to my good intentions—“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (NIV)

Still, if I focus on others’ strengths and not weaknesses, gains not failures, redeeming qualities not problems, I have a much better probability of maintaining internal peace. I won’t spend wasted time in seeking revenge or making laundry lists of faults. This only drains me of energy and serenity.

At first when I started “guarding my tongue,” I was only successful one time out of ten. My willful nature was (and still is more than I would like) to insist I am right or want to have things done a certain way. Then, as I practiced keeping quiet, I experienced success three times, four times, then more times out of ten. Hallelujah, even one time is better than never!

The following Proverbs pave my path to peace:

  • “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19 (NASB)
  • “From the fruit of a man’s mouth he enjoys good, But the desire of the treacherous is violence. The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” Proverbs 13:2-3 (NASB)
  • “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NASB)
  • “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” Proverbs 17:28 (NASB)

 

Lord, I truly want my home to be a castle, not a hassle. I desire the fruit of my lips to be sweet. I need your help in taming my tongue—that I might live in internal and external peace and harmony. Thank you for wanting to bless me with these, and with the wisdom as to when to keep silent and when to speak. And thank you for using my words, whether spoken or written, to bless others.

Thought for the day:   

“I could live for two months on one good compliment.”—Mark Twain